Grief, Hope, and The Nobel Prize I'll Never Win
kindergarten graduation :) Just a few years ago, I thought I knew my future: physics degree, PhD, research that mattered. Theoretical physics, the kind where you wrestle with questions no one can fully answer. I imagined contributing to something so big, so invisible yet essential, that a Nobel committee would someday say my name out loud. Quantum mechanics and string theory books filled my shelves. Bookmarked TED Talks from Brian Greene and Neil deGrasse Tyson littered my laptop. This was my astrophysics themed dorm room my freshman year... (I took advantage of not having a roommate.) Looking back, it feels almost funny and a little vulnerable to admit I once dreamt of a Nobel Prize, something not even the greatest physicists of our lifetime have achieved. But I think that dream says less about arrogance and more about how much I loved our world and wanted to understand it. I dreamed of leaving a mark on the universe. Honestly, I wanted the recognition too, the proo...